Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
