we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
