hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
