It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
honey bunches of taint.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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