Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize