the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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