I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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