Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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