We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
