That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
