I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize