dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
