you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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