I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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