He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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