it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
