I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
