The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
