I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Everclear isn't food dammit
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize