i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
