He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
