At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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