dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
