You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
