I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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