am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
