I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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