like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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