so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
