I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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