at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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