she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
