I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
