So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize