I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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