Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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