did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
