Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm just crazy horny about you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
