Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
