A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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