Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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