I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize