I think I died a long time ago.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
vagina is talking i cant
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
