Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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