Will you blow on my dice?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
