his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
