so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
