Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
