I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
