She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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