just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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