Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
