Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
