i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
