Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
