just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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