my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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