Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
