I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
