like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
