Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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