weddingsv make me drug and hornr
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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