hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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