lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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