it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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